While holidaying in Mamaia at the Black Sea this August we booked a tour in a double-decker bus. Just as spectacular as Brasov or Bucharest, here are some of the sights we spotted while looking up…
Mamaia is one of the oldest Romanian holiday resorts at the Black Sea and one I visited since I was a baby. It is famous for its sandy beaches and endless beach. I almost forgot that one of the hotels there has the same name with my Mom:
Here is the same gondola from Mamaia seen at sunset:
The pedestrian crossroad:
Also in Mamaia, looking up from the double-decker bus:
In Constanta, modern buildings often alternate with older houses. ses. Look at this charming balcony. It reminded me of Brasov.
Saint Mary is the Patron Saint of Romanian Naval Forces so 15 August is a massive celebration in Constanta, both Christian and military. We went there two weeks after… Look at all the Romanian flags still adorning the city:
I liked the wave design of this light-post found in Constanta Park, near the Cazino, The statue is that of Carmen Sylva, the pen name of Elisabeth, Queen of Romania 1881-1914.
Two different types of street lights right next to each other:
And look at all those birds:
Now this is not a street light, as it is a beacon light, a signaling light – but not a light house…
I hope you enjoyed looking up with me and discovering the intricate street lights of Bucharest, some separating the past from the present.
Brasov, Corona in Latin or Kronstadt in German, is a historical and cultural city found in the heart of Transylvania, in the heart of Romania. It was first mentioned in 1235 and, not many know, it was the birth place of Katharina Siegel, the only woman Vlad Tepes (Dracula) is said to have ever loved.
One of my favorite places in Brasov is not a coffee shop… but Rope Street, Strada Sforii, dating from 17th century, the narrowest alley in Romania and one of tightest passages in Europe, initially built to facilitate a quicker access for firemen. Its width varies between 111-135 cm / 44-53 inch, measuring 80 m / 260 ft in lenght.
Now let’s walk along Rope Street, looking up:
Now look up and far, do you see the giant letters spelling BRASOV, placed high on Mount Tampa? And opposite the “eye” street light there is a mural of an eye!
Next I saw this classic looking street light and his friends, the red carnations:
This modern, yet lonely light pole, neighboring an old, solo attic window, caught my attention:
The lamp post below is placed on Schei Gate. Down from here is Schei Gate Street where Katharina Siegel lived with her family, at number 20. Back then the street was called White Lane, Ulita Alba.
This light post, looking like Little Bo Peep’s curly stick, is located exactly in front of Katharina Siegel’s house, the light green one with three windows visible on the first floor and two windows on the attic:
I wonder if Vlad Tepes would have approved with this street light or he would have preferred something like these:
The street light attached to buildings seem to have such elegant arms and top caps, don’t you think?
Speaking of green houses, and the buildings of Brasov are vibrant, here is a street light matching its residence:
I looked up next and saw an elegant lamp post perched on a green building (what shade is this – sea foam, mint?), next to an entire row of red carnations:
I called this street light a serenading one, it just seems to be serenading the window placed above:
Now this street light looked like it was doing a split across the road:
Shadows come out in plain daylight too:
Believe it or not, this all dressed up lamp post was affixed to the building of the National Bank:
A frosted lamp post against a marble wall. It reminded me of iced cappuccino.
When two windows whisper to each other over a lamp posts and red carnations bend over the balcony to thank a street light, you have to stop and look up:
The lamp post next to the window that wasn’t meant to be:
On Mount Tampa, the light poles are as tall as the trees. And so is the passion of those who keep them looking neat, such as this old Lady who was painting them on a hot summer’s day.
In Brasov Council Square, Piata Sfatului, light poles are as pretty at bell flowers.
Last two pictures of lamp posts, and I hope you made it this far, are from Fagaras Fortress, built in 1310 on the site of a former 12th century wooden fortress:
Do you see the wire sculpture of a man on the horse? On the grounds of Fagaras Fortress there are plenty of modern light poles:
I hope you enjoyed the street lights of Brasov. Next in the #LookUp series are the lamp posts of Constanta and Mamaia, by the Black Sea!
This past holiday I chose to look up, towards the sun, the sky and the buildings’ roofs. I discovered some surprising sights that put a smile on my face and sparked my writer’s brain (or so I liked to imagine).
Also bordering past and present – which side would you choose?
I was born in Bucharest, so I am quite proud of the fact that in 1857 Bucharest was the first city in the world to introduce kerosene lamp posts on its streets. The fuel was produced in one of the world’s first refineries equipped with modern facilities, found in the nearby city of Ploiesti. Of course, only Bucharest’s city center was illuminated this way and 1,000 kerosene lamps were used, this bringing a a new craft into light in Bucharest, that of the lamplighter.
Here is another wall-bracket street light on the same building. I like the way it seem to serenade both windows. And have you noticed all the details on the facade?
To stay with the Farola fernandina style street lamp and in the same neighborhood of Bucharest, Lipscani, here’s another one:
And not too far away:
Here’s a close-up and I didn’t even have to climb a building to take this photo!
We are on a smaller street now, the light pole has a plain design. But what you see behind, the white building with lots of windows and a smaller one in the attic (where the coffee shop is!), that building houses the amazing bookshop Carturesti Carousel, a must-see.
We visited the Village Museum, as we do each time we go to Bucharest, and this time discovered:
Have you noticed the twin rosettes and the metal flower on top of the pole? And here is another lamp post from the Village Museum. The museum closes well before sundown, but I image it to be enchanting during the night.
Cismigiu Park, in the heart of Bucharest, is another one of our favorite places. Paddle boats in summer, ice skating early mornings or at dusk during winter, magical!
Look up, it pays off! We are still in Cismigiu Park (Fountain Park, you could translate), an area linked back to 1799, when ruler Alexandru Ipsilanti ordered that two fountains be built here. Again, a new craft and title was born, that of “Grand Fountaineer” – in charge of maintaining the good order of these two fountains!
But the real Cismigiu Park was designed during the middle of the XIX century by the Viennese landscape architect Carl Wilhelm Meyer at the order of ruler Gheorghe Bibescu.
Initially, in 1860s, there were only 60 lamp posts in Cismigiu Park. Electric lighting was introduced in 1890s. I wonder if this was one of them:
Excited to say that back then, as now, there is a newspaper stand in Cismigiu Park!
Moving on, here are a few more street lights from around Bucharest:
I hope you enjoyed looking up with me. Do return for more lamp posts, next we will visit Brasov and Constanta. Why don’t you subscribe to my newsletter or follow my blog?
Any thoughts? Comment below, I’d love to hear your ideas.
It was an erstwhile
custom that a mother, no matter how elderly or ailing she felt, would take it
upon herself to bring food to her lad bided elsewhere as soon as the snow thawed
and the first white spring shoots pierced the ground.
A folktale tells that
Mary, the mother of Jesus, took it upon herself to visit Jesus in Jerusalem and
thus she packed a basket with fresh eggs. It wasn’t much else she could take
him, Herod having just increased his taxes, again.
The road was winding
through the verdant green hills of Judea and Mary’s heart felt light for each
step brought her hither to her son, which she hasn’t seen in a long time. As
the morning progressed her own shadow became but a puddle by her feet. Soon
enough the basket began feeling heavier and heavier in her work-worn hand and
her steps became slower and slower and she felt like her journey to Jerusalem
had become a quest for shade. Not many trees were in bloom so as soon as Mary spotted
a stream sheltered by a little arbor she quickened her step and stopped to cool
and quench her thirst. It was a thirst like she had never felt before. So she looked about and decided to stop for a
The stream singed and
Mary saw a new nest above her head and smiled. Life was precious. The water
moved softly over her fingers and, when she removed her hand, a few droplets lingered
on her fingers. She brought the hand to her eyes and smiled, a whole life scene
embedded in those tiny see-through pearls.
It was a peaceful
moment and life’s moments were just like this string of beads following each
other on her outstretched hand. Each one connected to the next, stronger
together. Filled with love.
But it was time to move
along. Before getting up something tugged at her heart and Mary lifted the white
cotton fabric that covered the basket to see if the eggs were still in good
A dreadful sight unfolded
before her eyes. It was as if the sun had stopped shining, no gurgling from the
stream could glide through the air and all proof of life on earth had been stamped
The eggs had turned blood
red and the Blessed Mother of Jesus understood that the time had come for her son
to pay for our sins. But she was first a mother and he was her baby boy and so
she wept, Mary did, and as her tears rolled down her cheeks and dripped onto
the blood covered eggs they drew patterns, a cross, a star, lines and spirals.
When Mary reached the place where Jesus hang on the cross, she laid the basket at his feet and kneeled to pray. Then Jesus spoke and asked her not to cry for Him, but to share those blessed eggs with the people who believe in His resurrection.
This is why on the Orthodox Easter we color boiled eggs in red, we draw patterns on them and we share them with our loved ones, family, friends, colleagues, knocking egg against egg and saying: “Christ has risen,” and answer “It is true He has risen.”
The symbolism of the Easter egg
The hard shell of the egg symbolizes the sealed Tomb of Christ.
The cracking of the egg (through knocking) symbolizes His Resurrection.
The Ritual of coloring Easter Eggs
It is said that coloring Easter eggs is a sacred ritual. The day when one colors the eggs is special and no other activity will take place.
On counting the eggs that are to be colored, one doesn’t begin with one, but with “one thousand”, thus bringing wealth in the house for the remainder of the year.
The paint was already prepared, using different plants for different colors. GREEN – was made from walnut leaves, sweet apple skin. RED came from the leaf of a sweet apple, corn leaves or thyme. A special flower was used for YELLOW. Oregano was used to give the colored eggs a heavenly perfume.
The room where the eggs were painted was also special. No worried or upset person was allowed to step inside and no bad rumors or news of people who just passed away were allowed to reach the ears of the egg-painter.
Easter egg color symbolism
Easter eggs are nowadays colored in a rainbow of shades.
WHITE – means purity
RED – symbolizes the blood of Christ and life
BLUE – symbolizes the sky above, uniting us all
BLACK – means fertility
GREEN – means nature
YELLOW – symbolizes sun and energy
Orthodox Easter Egg Design Symbolism
A straight vertical line means life.
A straight horizontal line means death.
A double straight line symbolizes eternity.
A rectangle pattern – symbolizes thought and knowledge.
A sinuous line symbolizes water and purity.
A spiral means time and eternity.
A double spiral symbolizes the connection between life and death.
Cross – symbol for Christianity
A cross with additional small crosses at the end of each arm is a Russian cross.
A star – is called the “shepherd’s star”
A monastery – symbol of Christianity
Other motives used for decorating Easter eggs: bees, frogs, snakes, lambs, garden tools, fir tree, tulip, wheat.
Other traditions call for all the family members to wash their faces with fresh water on Easter morning, water from a container that holds a red egg and a silver coin. It is believed that the red egg brings good luck, good health, warn off evil spirits and all spells.
Cozonac is not only a culinary tradition , but a lesson in history as well. First baked in Ancient Egypt, sweetened with honey and filled with nuts, it soon appealed the Greeks – plakoús, πλακούς – who added raisins and walnuts into its filling. Next, the Romans loved it, adding their own spin to the recipe, dried fruits, and sharing it all over the Roman Empire – Romania included.
NOTE: this recipe makes 4 loaves (and 3 baby ones, please see below). Half it if you want to make less.
The cozonac is a sweet bread with filling, so having a filling is crucial for an all rounded taste.
TIME: preparation alone, between 3 – 4 hrs with baking time (because the cozonac must be allowed to rise twice). To reduce this time you can prepare the nut filling the day before).
The recipe for cozonac consists of two parts:
the filling (this is a nut filling, but if you are allergic to nuts or prefer not to use nuts, you can skip this part and use 250 g small cut Turkish Delight or plain chocolate spread instead);
the sweet bread dough.
Nut filling recipe (for 2 loaves):
250 ml milk (I used a lactose-free coffee creamer)
425 g ground walnuts (TIP: you can put the walnuts in a sandwich bag and roll them over with a rolling pin – please see below)
170 g white sugar
40 ml rum extract (you can substitute with 10 ml vanilla extract)
10 ml lemon extract (or lemon juice)
1 Tbsp lemon zest
2 Tbsp good cocoa powder (even 3 Tbsp if you love cocoa)
How to prepare the nut filling:
Melt sugar in milk over medium heat.
Add ground walnuts and stir for 10 minutes, until mixture is thickened.
Remove from the heat and add cocoa, rum extract, lemon extract, and lemon zest. Set aside and let it cool.
Sweet bread dough recipe (makes 4 loaves):
1 l milk (I used a lactose-free coffee creamer)
2 kg white flour
12 Tbsp white sugar
2 Tbsp lemon zest
40 ml rum extract (or use 5ml lemon juice + 10ml Vanilla)
6 -9 eggs at room temperature (depending on the size, e.g. 6 XL or 9 small). Use the freshest eggs you can find. The yolks will also give the cozonac, when cooked, a lovely light-yellow tint.
300 g butter (at room temperature)
1 tsp salt
3 packets fast rising dry yeast (3×10 g)
1 beaten egg for brushing the top of the loaves (or milk)
TIP: you will need a mixing bowl big enough to accommodate both your fists and still to give you enough space to knead the dough. A big cooking pot can also be used.
Mix butter, 1/2 of the milk and sugar in a saucepan and place it over medium heat until butter is melted and sugar is dissolved. Add the other 1/2 of the milk and let it cool until just warm.
Beat the eggs and blend them in the lukewarm milk mixture. Add lemon zest and rum / vanilla essence. Mixture should be +- 35 Degrees before adding it to the flour (too cool and the yeast will not be activated; too hot and it will kill the yeast).
In a large bowl place the white flour, sprinkle the salt and the dry yeast and give it a little mix. Make a hole in the center, like a well. Add the butter-milk-sugar-egg-essence mixture in this well. Mix with a wooden spoon until all ingredients are blended together – see images below.
Next you need to knead the dough with your fists for about 15 minutes. Knead then fold it over, turn the bowl 180 degrees and repeat. This will get the yeast to work. If the dough sticks to your hands pour a little bit of cooking oil (a teaspoon the most) over your hands and rub them, then knead again.
Just when you are done (15 minutes later) tug the dough in all around turning it into a nice, flat ball, rub a little bit more cooking oil over its top and all around the walls of the bowl. This is important as the dough will rise, you don’t want it to stick to the walls of the bowl. Cover the bowl with plastic and a clean tea towel and place in a warm spot. Allow the dough to rise until double in size. (about 20 – 30min)
Meanwhile, oil and flour your loaf pans and sprinkle your working area with flour. You can feel like a kid again and draw something…
Once the dough doubled in size kneed it down the dough once or twice, then divide it into the number of loaves you decided to make.
Pick one of the balls of dough and, while holding it above the working surface, stretch it a bit. Lay it flat and roll it with the rolling pin until it is about 3-4mm thick. In lengths, it has to be a little bit longer than your cooking pan. With a butter knife divide it in three.
TIP: consider how many loaves you will make and divide the nut filling or the Turkish delight accordingly.
Fill each of the three strips with the fillings desired. Roll each strip, pinch both ends and pinch along the rolled edge. Plait the three rolls together into a loaf. Carefully pick it up and place it in the pan.
Repeat for the remainder loaves.
Place each cozonac into a greased and floured loaf pan, brush with egg or milk and cover with a lightly greased plastic and a clean tea towel.
Allow the loaves to rise for another 20-30 minutes in a warm place.
Switch on the oven at 170 degrees Celsius or 340 Fahrenheit (Gas 3-4).
Bake for about 45 minutes or until light brown.
Set the pans on their side for 5 minutes.
Remove from the pan using a butter knife and then allow the cozonac to cool completely before serving – if you can resist it.
Serve with milk, coffee, tea, ice cream, red wine or with hard boiled egg and spring onion for breakfast!
Merry Christmas! Craciun Fericit!
What about you? What is your favorite Christmas meal?
If you decide to make cozonac using the recipe above, do send me a picture of your cozonac. I would love to post it here!
Christmas Tree and Saint Nicholas, two Christmas Haiku
So tall for small child,
Only Dad reaches its top.
Christmas tree promise.
6 Decemberholds a special place and my heart, it brings the first thrills of Christmas joy and of small miracles.
You might not know, but in Christian Orthodox tradition 6 December is the day we celebrate Saint Nicholas (Saint Nicholas of Myra, Nicholas of Bari or Nicholas the Wonderworker), who was an early Christian bishop of the ancient Greek city of Myra in Asia Minor (now Demre inTurkey). It is said that he was legendary for his secret gift-giving. Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of sailors, merchants, archers, repentant thieves, children, brewers, and students.
How Saint Nicholas became the patron saint of children is quite an astonishing tale. Now remember that all the written records of his life were made on papyrus or parchment, less durable than present day paper, thus had to be re-copied by hand in order to be preserved for future generations. One story speaks of a wicked butcher who, during a dreadful famine, lured three little children into his house, killed them and placed their remains in a barrel to cure, planning to sell them later as ham.Nicholas, who was visiting that region to care for the poor and the hungry, saw right through the butcher’s white fabrications and resurrected the pickled children by making the Sign of the Cross.
Saint Nicholas Haiku
Clean shoes and bright hopes-
Children go to bed smiling.
Mom’s a child at heart.
Welcome to Christmas Haiku!This December you can enjoy a winter themed haiku each day until Christmas Day. From the 25th of December I will post a super-special series of haiku on a humorous theme. My Christmas prezzie for YOU! Subscribe to my blog (newsletter sign up on the right column or beneath this post) and never miss a haiku with your morning coffee or favorite cuppa! MerryChristmas!
You can enjoy more haiku on this page of my website or in my brand new haiku book: Christmas Haiku:
An inspirational collection of winter and Christmas themed haiku to help you relax.Enjoy a daily haiku paired with gorgeous seasonal images as well as haiku for “The 12 Days of Christmas”
Living At The Cultural And Technological Crossroad
Even though two people speak the same language, having come from different cultures, their understanding of the spoken language will be different.
An American, a Frenchmen and a Chinese, all owners of smartphones, found themselves in a locked room. Can you guess the outcome? No, really, this happened to me. Except that I was neither of them, belonging to a fourth nationality, the Romanian born South African.
Ah, South Africa! The “Rainbow Country”! The nation with 11 official languages where people from numerous cultural backgrounds live together in harmony and peace. Apart from the local Zulu, Xhosa, Sotho and Tswana to name but a few, we have Afrikaners, Portuguese, British, French, Dutch, Greeks, Italians, Romanians, and the list goes on and on. And no, we don’t communicate with each other in Esperanto but in English, mainly.
So what happened in this 21st century locked room mystery?
What are the consequences of bringing together folks from different cultural backgrounds during a dinner event in today’s modern times?
People using their smartphones throughout the course of the evening to send messages, connect to social media sites, surf the web or even play games; two out of five adults at my table, three out of seven at a nearby table, with various adults at neighboring tables joining them. And I doubt they were texting each other…
While I did my best to follow the proceedings of the evening a bothersome question nestled itself in my mind. Why would 20%-30% of educated individuals, coming from an array of cultural backgrounds, choose to ignore all rules of social mobile etiquette? What possessed them?
I believe that, leaving all social protocol aside, there are two theories behind this situation.
1. The intercultural theory
People from different cultural backgrounds for whom English is not the first language, when communicating in English will lose important cognitive information, thus being in danger of drifting off and losing interest on the information presented.
Lost in translation
In other words, when two people coming from different cultural backgrounds and for whom English is not their mother tongue listen to an English sentence each one will perceive, will absorb and will relate to it in a different way; the information it carries being filtered through the listener’s own cultural background.
This is similar to the color perception theory which says that when two people look at the same color they will see two different shades of it, but they will never know how the two shades differ, or what shade precisely the other one perceived.
So many words, so little time
Fact: statistics show that out of 7 billion people in the world, 1,500 million speak English, of whom only 375 million are native speakers. That’s 21.4% English speakers in the world and only 5.36% English native. For the rest of 20% English speakers English is not their first language.
Research also shows that in the United States there is an increase in the decision non-English natives make to use their mother tongue at home, as opposed to English.
2. The technological theory
Living in the über-technological 21st century the use of one’s smartphone has evolved from need to compulsion. The smartphone isn’t a utility anymore, but an addiction. We don’t watch nature anymore, we take pictures of it. We don’t experience the Supermoon, we view it through our phone’s screen instead. We attend a live event, yet we look at it through our mobile screen, detaching ourselves from real life, extracting ourselves from present.
Putting things into perspective as opposed to living them
Let’s not point fingers yet, as each generation’s digital inclination will translate into a greater easiness for the following one in the use of digital technology as a learning tool. This means less paper used, less trees cut, more oxygen and less greenhouse effect, yes, one has to put things into perspective.
Fact: globally, in one second: there are 7 368 Tweets sent, 745 Instagram photos uploaded, 1 166 Tumbler posts, 2 300 Skype calls, 38 579 GB internet traffic, 56 616 Google searches, 132 753 YouTube videos watched, 252 9486 emails sent, 67% of which are spam.
Mobile phones are IN and they’re here to stay.
Now let’s take a closer look at these two theories.
1. An in depth look at the intercultural theory: living the dream or a cultural migration?
In a world in which political barriers are falling (the Berlin Wall in 1989, Communism in Russia and eastern Europe, the Arab spring), economic barriers are falling (the introduction of the Euro currency in 2002 and countries joining the EU group in 2004 and after) or are being rebuilt (Brexit, 2016), people choose or find themselves forced to live outside their natural geographic barriers, migrating or emigrating.
It is the birth of the cultural diversity and we live it.
Still, no matter how many barriers we remove, other barriers fall in place. How and why are these new walls influencing our lives?
Why are we faced with cultural barriers in communication?
We all share ideas, beliefs, traditions and rituals – to some extent. What differentiates an individual from the next are the bits and bobs that have been handed down by past generations. These form our national, ethnic, religious self, through which we filter the outside world to, eventually, understand it and interpret it. It is our culture; it helps us understand the reality, make it our own and thus finding our place in the world. It is what makes us feel “at home” on an emotional level.
Everything we’ve inherited from our parents and from our immediate community will shape the way in which we understand and cope with reality. The culture inherited through our mother-tongue especially, as it is our second skin, our air bubble, our personalized atmosphere. It reshapes our brain thus filtering the way we perceive the reality. It influences our thoughts and behaviors, because different languages have different social realities. Even though two people speak the same language, having come from different cultures with different mother tongues, their perceptions and understanding of the spoken language will be different.
Culture as an air bubble
Take the Americans, for example. They’re used to communicate freely. Germans are known to be direct, Hispanics love physical closeness during a conversation, while for Indians being indirect while they communicate with each other is a way of life.
This is why cultural diversity can cause people speaking the same language to distance from each other; not on a physical level, but an emotional one. The culture we grew in will influence the way we think and communicate with others, our expectations and, at times, these factors can become barriers.
Think of the expat communities formed all over the world, the China-Towns, the Russian congregations, the Spanish communities or the Harlem. People share a need to be among like-minded, like-cultural, like-mother-tongue speakers. Among people who think along the same principles, share the same humor and understand the subtitles of each other’s body language. (The Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis, 1958-69)
Example: Time as it is viewed by different cultures
Think of the word “time” and its English connotation. We associate it with “money” therefore we say that time can be “spent”, “saved”, “wasted” or “invested”. This linear vision of time is shared by the Anglo-Saxon world and the same goes for the Swiss, which turned precision and being on time into a national symbol. For them, time is an abstract commodity valued by what one CAN DO with it before it runs out. It is also a source of constant stress. Hurry, it ticks.
Now think of the southern and eastern Europeans, the Italians, Portuguese, Turks or Arabs. For them, WHOM you share your time with is much more important that the passing of the time itself. Finishing a conversation happening in present time is more important than cutting it short because of being late for a future appointment. Because “now” I share my time with you; now is enjoyable, therefore it is more important than a forthcoming appointment. To them, time is a personal commodity valued by HOW IS one enjoying it – therefore not worrying since there is plenty of it anyway; time stretches out ad infinitum. Relax, it pulses.
For Asians, time goes around in a CIRCLE. Time must be observed from all perspectives before deciding which tasks are important and which ones needn’t worry about. At the same time, the other person’s time is seen as more valuable than their own time. To them, FOLLOWING TRADITIONS is more important than the actual passing of time. Think & meditate, it hums.
But be it American, Italian or Chinese, time and the way one relates to it, understands it and refers to it has a specific meaning, passed through generations and through their mother tongue; filtered by their culture.
2. Looking at the technological theory: living in the über-connected 21st century
Today’s younger generation is the first one ever not to know what life was like without a cellphone.
While our generation, the 40’s something, *grin*, is the last one to have experiencing life with a corded phone. A fixed phone with a rotating disc and a receiver attached to the phone by a spiral cord. And a chair nearby for those long distance conversations that could only happen at home, at work or in a phone booth – but in no other place. And, yes, some of these conversations were kept private and for good reason. Our generation is the last one to be able to tell stories about the neighbor’s ebonite phone resonating “tir-tir, tir-tir” all the way from the upstairs’ apartment.
Only 500 years ago the Renaissance Man was both a scientist and an artist, a mathematician and an astronomer; an all-rounded scholar. His thirst for knowledge was insatiable. But knowledge had to be investigated and conquered. The reward had to wait.
Nowadays our neophilia, our need for novelty, is but a click away, a swipe of finger across the screen; right at our fingertips, rewarding in its promptitude but also exhaustingly hyper-stimulating.
It is normal for the human race to crave rewards. Rewards are what fuels progress and humans have a physical need to experience rewards because they release dopamine in our brains. Whenever a pleasurable experience happens, a surge of dopamine, a neural chemical, is being released into our brain. We feel good and as a result we want to repeat the behavior. And the “dopamine pathway” is being reinforced. But drugs or other activities which produce instant pleasure, like over-texting, hijack this pathway becoming addictive.
Mobile phones, a reward or an addiction?
We post a comment and we get a Like. Happy! What’s our brain thinking? I’ll do it again! Click, click, click – happy, happy, happy!
We have a question, do a quick internet search and find the information needed. Happy! “Cool, new stuff,” thinks Brain! “Let’s do this again, soon!”
It’s easy to understand why over-texting and neophilia can be seen as a reward, thus becoming addictive.
Is it really this simple or is there MORE to over texting? Are we all the same, being conditioned in the same ways or is there MORE to it? A silent, underlying layer.
Example: Over-texting and its real life implications
A 2010 study done by scientists at Case Western Reserve School of Medicine on texting habits of 4 257 high school students discovered that 20% of them were over texting (sending over 120 texts/day). These teenagers were termed as “hyper-texters”. Teenagers who spent three or more hours/day on social networking sites were termed as “hyper-networking”. Study showed that the “hyper-texters” were twice more likely to have tried alcohol, 41% more likely to have used illegal drugs, and 3 and half times more likely to have had sex. Think it’s a lot? Wait, the “hyper-networkers” were at an even higher risk.
Today’s younger generation is fully immersed in social media and technology. But they are also the first generation to suffer a decline in face-to-face communication. The first generation to be disconnected from real life… because they are connected to an electronic device. A generation of faces lit in the dark only by the screen of a cell phone, the “glow kids” as Dr Nicholas Kardaras Executive Director of the Dunes, one of the world’s top rehabs, calls them.
It is a mobile-social generation on the rise, but with a worrying decline in social skills.
Warning: the physical social disconnection caused by over-connection to social media had been linked to an increase in depression cases across teens and adult in present days compared to 1980.
The mobile phone relationship: are you ready to go steady?
Look at your cell phone. How often do you use it? How much do you rely on it? Was it by choice or not? Are our mobile phones available to us OR are we available to them because we never switch them off? Ask yourself, who’s using who?
In the present world, with information and communication so easily accessible, with 9/10 American owning a cell phone (2015) are we really the owners of this advanced technology-or is IT owning us?
Cell phones are hugely utile and they give us freedom, but at the same time they enslave us, tying us to our social contact lists. We feel that we can’t postpone replying to a message because we see the sender shows online and we know that he, too, can see us online. We can’t leave the work issues at work-they come following us, beep-ing from the bedside table in the middle of the night or over the weekend.
Our mobile phone’s constant availability is no longer an advantage but a social expectation as our contacts assume we’re at their disposal 24/7 and, to be honest, so do we of them. In 2015 90% of Americans frequently carried their cell phone with them! No wonder a mobile phone has more germs on it than a toilet seat.
But our “mobile” availability has become a constant source of stress too. What freed us has also enslaved us.
The palpable reality is: our mobile phones own us. Sounds like the title of a B-rated horror movie, isn’t it? “Owned by the Mobile Phone!” *evil laugh*
What’s worse is that we are constantly being programmed to depend on our mobile devices. What are the chances of you landing a good job without owning a cell phone? What are the chances of making an emergency phone call without a cell phone? In 2015, 43% of American adults lived in a cellphone-only household.
Cell phones are a benediction and a spell. An instant connection and an endless interference.
Surfing the technological wave
So, is over cellphone usage an addiction, a mere social behavior or just part of the 21st century?
The number of world’s cell phone owners is expected to exceed 5 billion by 2019, siting at 4.61 billion in 2016. A PEW research conducted by Andrew Perrin shows that in 2015 90% of American young adults (ages 18 to 29) used social media compared to only 35% in the 65 years and older group. Internationally the numbers are comparable with the Germans leading by 86% followed by Britain with 81%, and France with 78% of their young adults using social networking sites and only 8% of adults over the age of 50 years old (16% in Britain, 13% in France), as shown in a 2010 PEW research.
The inter-cultural communication can raise barriers but it can also be an opportunity for opening ourselves to new view-points, new prospects, and more harmony in the world.
How to overcome the cultural distance
Actively, willingly, by making an active effort of understanding each other and the cultural direction we both arrive from. By accepting that there might be a difference of view, yet willingly trying to understand in what this difference consists.
Emotionally, by being emphatic towards one another and choosing to overcome stereotypes. By actively understanding and being prepared to open ourselves to the other’s culture.
Academically, by choosing to be present in the moment and absorb the information we are being offered.
Marco Polo lived among the Chinese, absorbed their culture and brought back invaluable lessons and inventions. Christopher Columbus inaugurated centuries of European exploration in the Americas.
In the long run, is the social connectivity really paying off?
British anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar, now teaching at Magdalen College Oxford, is the author of How Many Friends Does One Person Need? Dunbar said: “We’re members of the primate family – and within the primates there is a general relationship between the size of the brain and the size of the social group. There are social circles beyond it and layers within – but there is a natural grouping of 150.”
A person can only have 150 acquaintances, but ONLY 5 close relationships. Because it is more difficult, although more significant and extremely rewarding to have fewer close relationships then lots of online followers.
Because, how Dundar puts it, “we actually have to get together to make a relationship work. In the end, we rely heavily on touch and we still haven’t figured out how to do virtual touch. Maybe once we can do that we will have cracked a big nut. Words are slippery; a touch is worth a 1,000 words any day.”
Okay, you don’t have to hug your boss
Dunbar goes further with his explanations and this is something each new parent discovers, sooner or later… the sooner the better. Pick up a crying baby and chances are he will stop crying if you keep holding him, caressing him. And no, you’re not spoiling him.
The same principle is valid for human relationships.
The mammal’s skin has a huge amount of neurons that respond to light touch, but not to any other kind of touch. Light stroking triggers endorphins, also responsible for our happiness by reducing pain and stress. In the dolphin world, calves brush their bodies against their mothers, this helping to strengthen their bond as well as their social ties. The same result happens when primates groom each other. Humans are mammals too.
Sadly, as yet, social media does not include touch therefore it is not real human bonding. It has the opposite effect, destroying the natural paths of human interaction of which touch and physical contact are important – creating the “illusion” of connection.
But everybody’s doing it
Texting during meetings or social events, chasing up Likes and Followers on social media, yes, everybody’s doing it. Just remember that YOU are an individual. Like your mom always told you: “If your friends jump off a cliff, would you jump too?!”
Humanity survived and moved forward for over two millennia without the interference of mobile technology. Yet only twenty years of cellphone usage has already produced its first generation of possible social failures.
The way forward is by retracing the steps of history, learning from mistakes and bettering ourselves.
Change begins now
The question that lies ahead of all of us is: has the moment when we need to learn from these past 20 years of mobile technology mistakes arrived yet? Is it NOW that we must remind ourselves we are humans and technology is but a tool invented by us, to use as WE please-and not vice-versa?
And no, the answer to this question does not lies at the end of a search engine. *wink*
Do dogs grow up to mimic our appearances and personalities or do we, subconsciously, pick that one puppy who best resembles us?
When I first picked up the small, warm, brown puppy, soon named Tara, my first house-dog and a German Short-haired Pointer, she looked like a seal. You know, the luscious, dark furred, round bottomed sea-creature with gleaming eyes and long whiskers. I was not round-bottomed nor did I have whiskers 25 years ago. But Tara did and she also had honey-colored eyes and long ears, framing her face like well-set curls.
It’s all in the… eyebrows
Have you noticed how much a dog can communicate by just looking at you? How they’re able to turn every situation in their favor?
So did Tara, just by using her eyebrows; bringing them together, creased low over her eyes, deep in thought.
“Doing a PhD thesis on this ball in front of me. Care to help?”
Or by lifting them, curving them over her eyes, suddenly so big and innocent, this movement often combined with a small drop of drool in the corner of her mouth. “I trust you unconditionally to take care of my every need”, they’d say.
“And I need to play right NOW!”
Or by just keeping her brows motionless, only her eyes rolling slowly underneath, left, right… watching me, studying me, persuading me…
“I know we did not play during the past hour. Do YOU?”
We surely mimicked each other, Tara and I, my heart joyful after hers.
She was always giving and loving, un/knowingly fueling my love for animals; teaching me that unconditional love has no limits.